profuseponderings:

Which English do you speak?

Take this test, guys! It determines what dialect you speak (if your native language is English) and which country you are from (if English isn’t your first language!). 

It is an algorithm which maps out the differences in English grammar around the world. 

Anonymous said:
tell me about a memory.

Oh uhm … this is pretty random lolol maybe you should have specified what kind of memory you want to know about; a good one or a bad one or … what made you message me in the first place? :D (no really, I’m curious)

But ok, I’ll just … ehm. I’m sorry if this isn’t very interesting or rather rambly, but I have the worst memory so it all kind of comes back to me while I’m typing it :/ I guess I’d better put it under a cut as well, just in case.

[[MORE]]

So, hmm. A memory. Last year hudsini and I went on a hiking trip to Eastern Frisia. It was the first time we planned a trip like that ourselves and all on our own, so we were pretty clueless about most of the important details (like for example how many kilometres we’d be able to walk in a day ahaha), but we just went ahead with it anyway. After all, we had a map, a backpack full of cookies and self-confidence, so what could possibly go wrong?

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As it turns out; a lot of things. Our map was pretty much rendered useless by the fact that there were barely any road signs anywhere, not even when you entered a village or something, anything that could have told a clueless wanderer like us where the fuck we were. It didn’t help that the villages all looked the same and that no one actually seemed to live there, because there weren’t any people around (which might have had something to do with the weather … storm warning and everything). Or, you know, shops where we could have bought something to eat or drink. Plus there was the fact that one of the guesthouses apparently forgot about our reservation when we arrived there late at night, completely knackered and basically ready to fall into a small coma, so that was great.

At one point we found ourselves in a small village that didn’t even have any street signs and where even the houses all looked the same. Or at least we thought it was a village but it turned out that it was still a part of the town we had been trying to leave for about three hours lmao anyway, it was completely deserted, except for three kids aged something between 7 and 11, who for some reason all had the same haircut and wore the exact same jackets. And then only a couple of minutes after we’d left them behind, we saw the only other two people in that neighbourhood: two blokes on bicycles who also wore the exact same clothes?? It was surreal. I mean, we joked about being trapped in a creepy Doctor Who episode, but it actually was a bit creepy?

But despite all that it was a great trip, really. We had a lot of fun and when it wasn’t raining or smelling like liquid manure (or stinky cheese) it was actually quite beautiful

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We also met a very lovely lady who went out of her way to help us out and offered us food and stuff. And we found a pizza place in one of the bigger villages (one that even had a name on a sign!) that more or less saved our lives, lolol.

So yeah … that was it. Sorry if that wasn’t what you were hoping for, but it was kind of out of the blue and I really do have a bad memory haha

Blame LordByron’sBloomers for this, it was the replies under their “happy Jakes headcanons” post wot started it.

calicovirus:

thecoppercow:

calicovirus:

fuckyeahmurdermysteries:

thecoppercow:

DS Jakes becomes an outdoor tour guide in Cumbria. Peter Lakes. (x)

DS Jakes has talent at spotting counterfeit artwork. Peter Fakes.

DS Jakes opens an exotic animal store. Peter Snakes.

DS Jakes creates delicious pastry desserts. Peter Bakes.

DS Jakes takes care of his garden. Peter Rakes.

DS Jakes brings all the boys to the yard. Peter Shakes.

You never felt pain, did you? Why did you never feel pain? We always feel it, Sherlock. BUT YOU DON’T HAVE TO FEAR IT. Pain, heartbreak, loss, death, it’s all good. Come on, Sherlock. Just die why don’t you. One little push and off you pop.You’re going to love being dead, Sherlock. No one ever bothers you. Mrs Hudson will cry and mummy and daddy will cry, and The Woman will cry, and John will cry buckets and buckets. You’re letting him down, Sherlock. John Watson is definitely in danger.

nayx:

well detective, we don’t have much to go on.  the victim is dead, that’s for sure.  like the victim is definitely dead.  we yelled really loud in his ear and he didn’t do anything.  he’s probably dead

whitechapel meme: [3/7] quotes: "There’s something wrong with me. I hate seeing other people happy. It just eats away at me; it makes me angry. Why am I like that?"

I love not knowingKeeps me on me toes.

Anonymous said:
Can we all be the voice in your head? I wanna tell you that you look gorgeous and you are such an amazing person and you should love yourself so much omg

omg you’re all so incredibly sweet, thank you :’)